Friday, December 13, 2013

Fear A Day 19: Calling To Find Out About My Final Graduate Application



It's absurd how ticklish I am.  I never could handle anyone attempting to give me a massage before.  It would always end up either tickling the hell out of me or hurting me.  I was supposed to up the ante with the whole strangers and touching and judging thing and receive the first massage of my life, but something happened with the massage therapist and the appointment was canceled.  So, this was the second day in a row where my fear plans didn't really work out and I was so bummed.  The massage was rescheduled, but I felt like I still needed to do something to push myself out of my own comfort zone.  I didn't want to lose momentum with the project.  Honestly at this point, even though every day was nerve-racking, I was strangely getting used to the self-inflicted torture.  I thought about what had been filling me with anxiety and I knew what to do.  I was still waiting to hear from one last grad program.  I had been rejected by all the other schools and I was so scared that I wouldn't get accepted anywhere, again.  So I called the last school I was waiting to hear from to see if they had a decision made.  After keeping me on hold for an obscene amount of time, I was informed that the committee still had my file and had not reached a decision.  What a frustrating day!  I really could have used that massage… 

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